What do you think when you see a young husband and wife with a pram? Poor bastards, right? Wrong! It should make you think what a sorry life you young gays have compared to that…

Forgive them father, for they are retards 

Because, you gays, in case you didn’t realise it, your life is ‘unfulfilled, lacking, impulsive, compulsive, and fraught with health risks’. Oh, yes. And straight people live in meadows with the fairies, eating only milk and honey, never smoking or drinking or catching the measles. According to a retarded member of what is known as The Cloth. Though we have actually – scientifically! – heard more sense from a J-Cloth.

So, the Cloth in question is one Pastor Mark Bradfield, who took such umbrage against Barack Obama declaring Gay Pride Month, that he felt the need to write into his local Northern Irish newspaper to tell the world exactly what gay life was all about. Him being straight, he would know this stuff.

‘When those in the gay community look around – seeing a young husband and wife with a pram and a baby (strange order of priorities there: ‘Oooh, what a lovely… pram!’), an older husband and wife holding hands (bizarre how this lot spend half their time trying to stop the gays marrying, the other half deriding them for, erm, not being married), they are reminded that they are wrong, plainly and simply.’

A quick survey of the me-me-me offices (where some gays work, some come to simply sit around flicking through magazines) has found that far from being unfulfilled, several had been filled just last night! To the very brim! ‘Impulsive’? One had bought a Snickers bar he was not intending to buy because he saw it at the till, so, check! ‘Compulsive’ Well, let’s just say a pack of chocolate digestives doesn’t last very long around this lot. ‘Fraught with health risks’? One caught a cold off snogging someone else with a cold, but he feels much better now, thanks to Lemsip.

As to babies in prams, not one would have it in the house. And if you’re wondering why, if gays are so bad, Jesus never mentioned them *checks notes: rich people not going through eyes of needles, nup, nothing* well, it’s just that he forgot. He did mean to, only he got waylaid by the soundtrack to Gypsy.

Should you wish to read – laugh at, enjoy a coffee over – more wisdom from the particular bit of the Church Pastor Mark comes from click here. Such fun!

 

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16 comments to “What do you think when you see a young husband and wife with a pram? Poor bastards, right? Wrong! It should make you think what a sorry life you young gays have compared to that…”

  1. Pastor Mark Bradfield is inside of me as we speak, and I can tell you right now he ain’t coming back for seconds. Which is probably why he’s so bitter.

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  2. These retards’ obsession with the gays is rather worrying. They’re more obsessed than I am, and I am one.
    Oh, and there’s my answer… self-loathing gays. Such a shame, coz instead of self-imploding they could be having a whole load of fun. Their loss.

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  3. ‘You poor gays. You’re not married.’
    ‘Can we get married then?’
    ‘No! You poor gays, you have no children.’
    ‘Can we adopt the ones that you beat and molest. The ones that have to be taken away from you then?’
    ‘No!’

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  4. Now, I’m no big reader of the Bible – though I did once find the chapter Leviticus extra absorbant when I found a Bible in the bedside table in a hotel instead of tissues – but Jesus seems to make it very clear that rich people are bad but no one seems to mention that. He never said anything about the gays but they never shut up about that. And he did make quite a big deal out of not judging and loving everyone, but that seems to have gone by the byway. Funny people.

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  5. I really do pity these retards. Apart from the worrying fact they exert power over people – admittedly fellow retards, but unfortunately this world is full of a lot of retards.
    Really, they spend so much time worrying about homosexuality – time that could be spent on helping starving children and fucking underage boys, which is what these people are paid to do, right?

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  6. Oh, the cunt’s address is on that link! Should we all send him a nice card? Invite him around for a nice bbq? Suggest a group outing to XXL?

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  7. We can’t ever expect to be able to reason with people who believe in the fairy tale that is The Bible. I tried at the weekend and the religious nut in question was of the mind that as I had no proof God didn’t exist, it therefore proved that that he did. What we really need is a law that makes incitement to homosexual hatred illegal. And we also need Brandon Stoughton to pose naked in Soho Square so that we can all have a peek at his package.

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  8. I love that The Lord is smoking a fag and having a beer in that picture.

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  9. These religious twats really doth protest too much…

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  10. Oh but Pilar, as you know, it’s not our job to prove God doesn’t exist – it’s the religious nutters’s job to prove that he does!
    That’s the ‘argument’ lame believers always resort to. It’s like the God-bothering equivalent of ‘my dad’s bigger than your dad.’ Only not, because it’s rather easy to prove whose dad is the bigger, by merely dropping their trou’ and doing a compare ‘n’ contrast.

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  11. As my friend always says when you can’t reason with someone, ‘It’s like talking to a Christian.’

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  12. Or — to point out the obvious — he is jealous of our freedom. Even more so: life itself is a health risk. And a screaming baby will make my life better how exactly? Please! I was an au pair / ‘manny’ … so I know *exactly* what I’m missing. Or not missing. But hurrah for breeders & prams … repopulating the gay community for us & all that. (-:

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  13. Rather have the Bible than the profit mohamamamamamamamarama

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  14. Hi,
    thanks for all the comments to …my comments.
    A lot of things to refute on your list of things you would like me to do.
    I am of course somewhat confused by my ‘incitement to hatred’ when I am threatened with gang rape by one of soul and slandered by another.
    Wow talk about reasoned debate – yeah lets have some.

    Proof that God exists – Israel.
    didn’t exist 61 years ago – Bible said it would over 2400 years ago.
    No other people in the history of the world ever did that.
    Hated by just about everyone – attacked by all neighbours – survived – just like Bible said it would – and continues to do so today and will continue to do so.
    People that accept Christ as their saviour – are different afterwards.
    The love the things they used to hate and hate th things they used to love (please take this in the correct context!)

    BTW if Homosexuality etc is right why does the Bible show us that it is wrong. Old Testament and New – Romans ch1, 1 Cor 6:9 and onwards.
    OK we’re not going to subcribe to the Bible – evolution – we’ll use that instead. OK
    If evolution exists then the (non existent) ‘gay gene’ would have bred itself out of existence millenia ago.

    Regardless – The World of God calls this behaviour along with any sexual liason(?) outside of that between a man and woman that are married to each other a sin.
    By the same token the Bible quite simply and plainly labels us all as sinners with the only solution to this being to accept Christ’s sacrifice of himself as our proxy on the cross as a full and sufficient payment for the eternal death penalty that our sin deserves.

    I have never incited hatred or violence to any soul and though credited with many things – this is not one of them.

    Please remember that God hates the sinful things we do but loves the sinners – He does not throw the baby out with the bathwater – contrary to popular belief.
    It is sad that souls so identify with their lifestyle choice that they and their actions have become indivisible.

    Proof that God exists.
    Wrote in the 2 Timothy ch 3 (?) that in the last days perilous times would come… and the charateristics mentioned there sum up the vast majority of the population of the world right now and show no sign of changing anytime soon.

    If interested I could post more Bible references.

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  15. Please don’t.

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  16. Bitter Truth vs Sweet Lies……………………….

    Sweet lies win every time (sadly)

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