So call us drunk, but even we were a little shocked at developments that occurred over the course of last night.
Whilst friends of the homosexual variety in London’s glittering Los Angeles were broken into and what can only be described as rimmed senseless by the miscreant whilst they were asleep in their bed (really. No, really. We’re, like, serious as a heart attack with this one. In their sleep. Rimmed. In. Their. Beddy-byes. If we weren’t laughing so hard we’d say it was a matter for the police), over in London’s glittering London we woke to the news that Kelly Brook off-of telly and things, is in fact the wife of the late Kurt Cobain. And has a penchant for visiting banks in New York. And, which is particularly worrying, we ought to be concerned for her well-being. Which is hardly surprising if Kelly’s trotting off to New York banks in just her bra and panties.
But such is the Daily Mail‘s relationship with fact. It’s volatile, to say the least. But whilst someone in a Next suit will try and claim interdolly error (f-yeah, and we’re an ovum), we’d just like to point out that gays bum, two plus two is usually four, OCD man down the gym has changed his shower gel and it’s not going too well, and the Daily Mail’s a bunch of cunts.
Oh and c) and d).