When actress Farrah Fawcett (nee Farrah Fawcett Majors) died yesterday (in the shadow of Michael, it it turns out. Bugger!) you thought it was cancer, didn’t you? And who can blame you? She made a whole show about her battle with cancer. And had cancer. And died of cancer. But how naive can you be?
Leave it to the investigative powers of The Daily Cunt to get to the real nitty AND gritty. She actually died – oh, yes *finger waggling, right in your face* – because she had some fun. And, women beware, if you think you can go out and have fun, then you just wait and see what happens.
So, expect the coroner’s report to read: ‘Ms. Fawcett Majors died of cocktails, a bit of naughty salt, Botox, fighting with her boyfriend and generally living life. Cancer was a contributing factor.’