You know what it was like when Diana was murdered by The Establishment in a fiendishly clever plot that could have been foiled if she’d put her fucking seat belt on instead of worrying about creasing her Catherine Walker dress: every branch of Tesco had their own Book of Condolence so between saving on household produce those Tesco customers who could actually write were able to pop down a few kind thoughts, usually including the phrase ‘Queen of Hearts’.
Well, because we loved Michael Jackson way more than we loved DPoW, we thought we’d start our own book that you can pop your thoughts into. We kicked off with Madonna, whose quote is actually quite lovely (though we don’t believe she has ever cried) and a few other celebs.
Please don’t let that make you feel inadequate. Michael belonged to all of us.
Madonna, who dated him at the Oscars (that’s the pic up there): ‘I can’t stop crying over the sad news. I have always admired Michael Jackson. The world has lost one of the greats, but his music will live on forever! My heart goes out to his three children and other members of his family. God bless.’
Brooke Shields, who once ‘dated’ him: ‘My heart is overcome with sadness for the devastating loss of my true friend Michael. He was an extraordinary friend, artist and contributor to the world. I join his family and his fans in celebrating his incredible life and mourning his untimely passing.’
Lisa Marie Presley: ‘I am so very sad and confused with every emotion possible. I am heartbroken for his children, who I know were everything to him, and for his family. This is such a massive loss on so many levels, words fail me.’
Liza Minnelli: ‘He was a kind, genuine, and wonderful man. He was also one of the greatest entertainers that ever lived. I loved him very much and I will miss him every remaining day of my life.’
Zsa Zsa Gabor: ‘: ‘I do not vish to vork like this.’