Michelle Heaton – who looks like Dannii Minogue after the Bo’ Selecta! treatment – has been appointed celebrity in inverted commas stylist in inverted commas for Brown Cow, which is a bunch of (beauty, not Chariot’s Roman) spas based in Dublin.
Yes, Brown Cow. *looks around room to see if anyone else gets that*
No seriously, Brown Cow. You can’t make this dirty protest up.
Michelle, for one, is very excited.
‘Just thinking about all of this gets me excited and I cannot wait to start! To be able to pass on what I have learned makes this all worthwhile, seeing someone’s face light up when they try on THE dress or THE pair of jeans is such a thrill for me.’
(Aside: Is IT fucking April Fool’s or something?)
And the damage for Michelle passing on her considerable fashion/beauty/etc. knowledge?
150 Euros per hour for one of you; 225 Euros if there are two mugs. (And 125 Euros per hour thereafter, and let’s face it, you’re gonna need it what with all that knowledge to pass on… If only we hadn’t spent all our money on booze and poppers).
Oh but to be fair… *ooh, cock…*
In conclusion, repeat after us, perchance in the voice of Margo Leadbetter: ‘How now brown cow…’