So, Canoe Man was found perusing apartments in Panama when he had supposedly gone missing, Shannon Matthews was found playing hide ‘n’ seek in her uncle’s four-drawer divan when she had supposedly gone missing now Muswell Hill’s finest, moon-faced Jamie Neale, 19, has been found in the Australian bush after two weeks surviving on leaves and seeds and the odd Texan bar in the sort of condition you might come back from a spa retreat in. Or something.
He’s not uttered a peep so far – often a sign that newspaper deals are being discussed: £500,000 is the probable ‘first interview’ price. Not bad for a gap year – but his father reckoned his ordeal had included eating some leaves that looked like rocket and, one night, sleeping under a log. But the question remains, why didn’t he just walk back?
His father, who flew out to bury a red rose for England and carve his son’s name and dates on virgin native rocks, obviously reckoned he was a-gonner while mum (did you see her? The size! The hair!) says she knew he was OK and the time he was missing seemed to ‘fly by’.
Does it make us bad people if we say we so hope it’s a scam he’s about to be caught out in?