Is Jamie Neale this year’s Canoe Man/Shannon Matthews?

Back from his spa retreat?

So, Canoe Man was found perusing apartments in Panama when he had supposedly gone missing, Shannon Matthews was found playing hide ‘n’ seek in her uncle’s four-drawer divan when she had supposedly gone missing now Muswell Hill’s finest, moon-faced Jamie Neale, 19, has been found in the Australian bush after two weeks surviving on leaves and seeds and the odd Texan bar in the sort of condition you might come back from a spa retreat in. Or something.

He’s not uttered a peep so far – often a sign that newspaper deals are being discussed: £500,000 is the probable ‘first interview’ price. Not bad for a gap year – but his father reckoned his ordeal had included eating some leaves that looked like rocket and, one night, sleeping under a log. But the question remains, why didn’t he just walk back?

His father, who flew out to bury a red rose for England and carve his son’s name and dates on virgin native rocks, obviously reckoned he was a-gonner while mum (did you see her? The size! The hair!) says she knew he was OK and the time he was missing seemed to ‘fly by’.

Does it make us bad people if we say we so hope it’s a scam he’s about to be caught out in?

 

 

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7 comments to “Is Jamie Neale this year’s Canoe Man/Shannon Matthews?”

  1. It’s SO a scam… RUMBLED, you moon-faced freak…!

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  2. He has a touch of the Downs. I hope his parents aren’t taking advantage of his special needs.

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  3. The mother and brother could do with a seed and leaf diet for two weeks. The state of it!

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  4. Heard the latest? He tried to catch a wild horse for his chippy-tea. Do we think the wild horse had a horn on its head?

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  5. Yeah … the horse bit did give me a larf (& I’m a vegetarian).

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  6. I know you think you’re being funny, Betty, but this “downs” joke that seems to be making the rounds is just beyond inappropriate. Stop it – it’s so mindblowingly insensitive that it moves way beyond funny and into the realm of making you look like a really horrible person.

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  7. It’s funny coz it’s true.

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