Where would we be without Gwyneth Paltrow’s mots of wisdom? Flailing about in our own piss, probably. Which in some circles is seen as manners.
Today, Gwyneth off-of Blythe (what happened in the interim?!) tells us that ‘long-term relationships between two people is an ever evolving (we would’ve put a hyphen there too, but hey and the ho) organism’.
‘Some stay the course, some fall, all stumble.’
Then she goes on to ask a bunch of bollocky women to give their buggery-bollocky opinions on relationships, and every. Single. One. Of them. Uses words like ‘nourish’ and ‘wisdom’ and ‘trust’ and ‘understanding’ and ‘openness’ and *sticks finger so far down throat it comes out of arse and pokes the buggery-bollocky women in the eyes*
One of them even begins with an excerpt from a poem by David Whyte.
Oh, Gwy off-of neth. Rumour has it next week’s Goop is all about death.
‘Some people are born, some even live for a while, all die. (Though we’re working on that one)’
Rumour also has it Gwyneth Paltrow is up for the Nobel Prize. We have several.