Is this man Christ?

Not so much Candy Darling as Candy Kane. Or not.

We do hope so. If we’d have known the son of God was partial to a flammable wig and animal print we’d have listened a little better at school. Actually, maybe not.

This nouveau Jesus is the laydee formerly known as David, or Dave (segue – why do trannies always have builders’ names?), who now goes by the name Delores Kane. Hang on a cotton picking minwee, you said you were Jesus. Any road, Delores is the former MI5 agent, who, when bored with all that Spooks business, turned whistle – and possibly man – blower. And when he tired of that, he shaved his legs, shoved some puppy ears down his top, grabbed the nearest mop, and scurried to Surrey where he is currently squatting (possibly literally) in a disused farm house.

His family say of the transformation, ‘I blame the Government.’

Delores says, ‘I know in my heart that I am Christ and I am here to save humanity.’

We say, ‘Skinny Capp to go please.’

*backs out of room, taking mop with us. There was a nasty spill in the office earlier*

Toodle-pips.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

More dolly #content:

11 comments to “Is this man Christ?”

  1. Tell you what, if he was Christ the world would be a much happier place…

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  2. Please can he be Jesus. He looks quite fun.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  3. I know her sister, Kandy Kane, Mistress of pain. Quite looks like Barbara Dickson.
    Well since the pope has had a nasty fall while wearing high heels in the alps, maybe Jesus has come back as Delores and will become Pope and change the colour scheme at the Vatican.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  4. I once knew a roofer called Dave who had a sex change and became Mandy. He was not the son of God. He did have lovely skin, though.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  5. Lovely skin is God-given. Or Clinique-given.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  6. Where was he when they needed him?
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/8155168.stm

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  7. Good pins. Men do tend to have good pins though, don’t they? I know I do.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  8. Aww, that story broke my heart A Nolan Sister :,(

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  9. Yeah, tragic innit.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  10. Weren’t Loose Women looking for a new presenter? Delores surely fits the bill

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  11. Oh christ its me after a night out (or at the beginning of one more like)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Leave a comment