And you know we can say that now because we’ve reappropriated the word ‘gay’ from the cunts of the world so that it no longer means ‘rubbish’ but in fact means ‘as close to perfection as a human can get. Whilst also having an appreciation of cats, hand gestures and dressing to the left’. So if anyone has a problem with being called a gay, they’re a cunt.
*gets Nobel Peace Prize*
And we’re not even going to go into those rumours which have been rifer than a rife thing for longer than a piece of string from a town called Kabbalah. Not right now. Ooh no.
Oh, and apparently Jude Law is bumming Cameron Diaz or Cameron Diaz is bumming Jude Law or Jude Law is bumming Leonardo DiCaprio and they all went to that twatty club in South Ken that only people who drape pullovers over their Jermyn Street-bought shirts/whores who want to shag people who buy their shirts on Jermyn Street go to.
And c) and d).
Oh, the Jude Law being a well-dressed man thing. He is. He knows his colours. And we’re having a moment with the hairy-chest-‘n’-clavicles-(clavicles? Quoi?)-peeping-from-out-of-a-white-T-worn-under-a-grandad-shirt thing. Good shoes also. Very next S/S. How future-modern.
*bows; retreats; does a cartwheel for light relief just before reaching the double doors*