Slightly bouffy hair: check. Skin shot to freak by not removing maquillage after a big night out (naughty!): check. Dainty little handshake: check. Pinky ring: check. Yes, Kenneth Gunn of the Scottish National Party (the difference with the British National Party would be…?) thinks the gays are sad *conga line of gays goes by in the background*
He also thinks atheists are going straight to hell. Well, seeing as they don’t believe in hell, that shouldn’t be too much of a tradge or a worry, should it?
Yes, speaking live on Her Majesty’s BBC Radio about an exhibition where people were asked to comment on that holiest of all books, The Secret of Spiggy Holes – sorry, The Bible – dolly here got his/her sheer panties in a bunch/knickers in a twist and started laying into anyone who wasn’t a clean-living, never-knowingly-troubled-in-the-gusset-department Tory wife.
‘When we all went to church on a Sunday morning and prayed to Jesus Christ, this was a much better country,’ sayeth Kenneth Gunn in a voice that faltered somewhere around the range of a dowager duchess. ‘Look where it’s going now. We’ve got so-called gays (‘so-called’? Oh, the ‘gay used to mean happy’ thing), who are really very sad people, and we have non-believers and heathens running the country and running down Christianity.’
At which he/she clutched some pearls, dabbed the corners of his/her mouth where the crumbs from a Victoria Sandwich had gathered and flounced out leaving nought but a whiff of Lily o’ the Valley behind.