The McCanns’ lavish array of private detectives today announced that Posh Spice nicked the kid. No, actually, it was a Posh Spice lookalike (though we think this e-fit looks more like Shirley off-of EastEnders) and she was an Australian. Case closed. Send her down, m’lord.
Apparently, according to very ‘credible’ sources – who somehow took two years to come forward (‘I’ve been meaning to get onto someone with that crucial information on the disappearance of a missing child, but you know how it is when you’re a working mum: washing, ironing, then one of them needs a glass of orange squash… Before I knew it two years had slipped by and I’d failed to provide pivotal information. You’ve got to laugh!’) saw this Australian woman, very stylish (‘stylish’ ‘Australian’ and this is a credible witness?) hanging around Barcelona’s port area. Which presumably means it was in fact a transsexual hooker.
Apparently, she was dollying about in front of a bar at 2am. In the morning! And she started talking to someone she thought was a ‘contact’ about something but he wasn’t a contact he was just someone also hanging around the port area of Barcelona at two in the morning (maybe we’re now getting more of an idea why he didn’t come forward) and what she said was very interesting *said in a suspicious European accent* Now the world is all over her arse.
How very Scooby Doo!