If you get down to Selfridges on the more glittering end of London’s not-so-glittering Oxford Street with £215 in your sticky hands hoping to ride a bus home with a golden bottle of 3Lab Super ‘H’ Serum this morning, you will be met by a frosty reception and a request to add your name to 100 already on the waiting list. Because, apparently, even more than Boots No 7 Protect and Perfect Serum (which we swear by!), it actually works in reducing the signs of ageing.
Even more than wearing your hair in bunches and skipping!
First the science bit: the magic ingredient is a human growth hormone or HGH, which, if injected (and we’re not saying you should start shooting this shit up) has been proven – maybe that should have inverted commas round it – to knock a good ten or even twenty years off the appearance.
Originally made using the brains of dead people (for real!), it actually passed CJD onto some early adopters but for the last 20 years or so they’ve been using a synthetic version, so you can forget the zombie scenarios.
Still not ready for use as a tablet here in Her Majesty’s United Kingdom, you can buy the cream (though obviously not even for ready money at the moment) and while some experts are saying the HGH protein is too chunky to penetrate the skin (‘chunky’ ‘penetrate’… calm down, dear), the manufacturers reckon they’ve developed a super skinny strain that can get right in there.
But then they would, wouldn’t they?
It may cost over £200 but it really does work. And it doesn't contain the brain cells of dead people anymore either!,