Yes, that is how that funny-looking guy up there described his fairy tale relationship with the girl he kidnapped 18 years ago. Bundled into a car when she was eleven (so quaint), Jaycee Lee Dugard was hidden in a ‘backyard within a backyard’ (how Gardeners World) repeatedly raped (aww, romantic) and gave birth to a little girl at the age of 14 (so cute). Yes, definitely one of the feel-good stories of the year.
And what did the offending man have to say about this 18 years of Josef Fritzl-esque nastiness during a radio interview he gave from prison (presumably that was his ‘one phone call’ then);
‘If you take this a step at a time, you’re going to fall over backward and in the end you’re going to find the most powerful, heart-warming story.’
*falls over backwards, gets up again, curtseys, backs out of room*