Danyl Johnson is henceforth to be known as Anal Danyl. Even though we think Danyl is supposed to be pronounced as in ‘Daniel’, not as in, well, ‘anal’. (Btw, why the hating on the ‘ie’? What did ‘ie’ ever do to you? Did it try and stick amiel nitrate up your snout?)
Aaaand, back to us. So, Anal Danyl Johnson (maybe we’ll go with ADJ… sounds almost like, ‘Hey, Mr DJ, put a record on. So long as it has a nice two-step and includes the word “hesitation”.’) was on Americanish telly this morning. Or last night. Or something. Then they showed it us on GMTV this morning. We were going to mention it earlier but, well, forgot. Completely forgot. Nothing. Nada. Not a fucking inch. Then we remembered.
So the US and A is going dipsy-loo-la over Anal Danyl – who earned his moniker by way of being a bisexual. Which we all know is just a stop-over on the way to gay – and they’re calling him the next SuBo (such an honour!) and the fella on this MSNBC (just rolls of the tongue) show even goes as far as to say he’s the best thing since that Ryvita biscuit we just saw floating down the Thames. Calm down dear.
Anyway, what struck us was the complete absence of talk of his sexual proclivities. Now naturally it’s no-one’s business except ours, and a person’s sexuality really don’t matter diddly squat even though it does (straight? Polycottons? Not on your nelly!) and we really do need gays on the tellybox who aren’t Gok cunting Wan, so we just thought it was interesting that no sooner does he come out (in the Knutsford Services manner of speaking – you know, stop for a Burger King and a fondle in the toilets but there are bigger and better things further along), than he’s right back to not talking about it. Or being asked about it. Andcetera. And we’ve come to the conclusion that now America is sniffing about, that Jack’s gotta get right back into the box.
Just wait until the religious nuts find out he teaches children! Little ones! A bisexual! With children! They’re all gonna die………………………………………..!
Now for some moving pictures… *is overwhelmed*