In the worst showbiz news of the year – worse than Micky J going, worse than Farrah going, worse than Kylie not being given a swift kick up the cunt – Terry Wogan is leaving his morning radio show on Her Majesty’s BBC Radio 2.
No more filth disguised for the palettes of his elderly listnership, no more ripping the royal piss out of last night’s TV, no more uncontrollable laughter about nothing until they have to bang a record on to cover it up… It’s the end of an earhole, that’s what it is. And those are quite some earholes. And quite some bulge you’re hiding there, Sir Terry, while we’re at it (not that we’re at it, it’s just a figure of speech)!
The show will run until the end of the year when Sir Terry of the Innuendo will be replaced by one ginger Chris Evans. Who we actually don’t mind. But he ain’t no Terry.
*begins day of mourning. Realises black drains all colour from face reverses idea of day of mourning to day of celebration where spring brights bring back colour to cheeks*