A letter from a nutter.

Cake. Or is it cock?

Hello.

So, remember that piece we did a wee while back about the religious freak who was hating/judging/the usual on the gays? Too many to remember? It’s this one. Pastor Mark Bradfield. We didn’t use a picture of him ’cause no-one deserves that. And the publicity would just go to his head, the vain bastard. So instead we used a picture of a delicious piece of cake.

Anyway, Pastor M, the god-bothering silly sausage in question has found time in his busy schedule of talking to the voices in his head and taking the bible as gospel. Or the gospel as bible. Or thinking Jesus wants him for a sunbeam. Or choosing sensible flats down Shoe Express. Or waving at the fairies down the bottom of his garden. Or spouting lies to the vulnerable slash stupid. Or licking windows, etc, to respond to our levelled, rational and frankly genius piece saying what an ignorant cunt he is. And sister, he ain’t happy. Though he does like a bit of Cliff Richard.

So wanna read his response? It’s highly entertaining. Especially since everything he says is rendered pointless by the fact that GOD DOESN’T EXIST. Like, durrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Honestly, it’s like talking to a Christian. And his argument against evolution…? Really, Mark. Didn’t pay enough attention at school, did we?

Anyway, it’s all after the break sponsored by any number of crunch biscuits, Sunny D and Polo Mints.

Ooh, actually, Pastor MB… Before we go… God just called and said he wants a different representative on earth. ‘Cause you stink. And do you really think we all just floated down the Thames on a Ryvita biscuit? He also said do us all a favour and pop a Tic-Tac.

(Btw, it’s all totally sic. God obviously doesn’t give a rat’s arse about spelling and grammar. Such hypocrisy!) 

“Hi,
thanks for all the comments to …my comments.
A lot of things to refute on your list of things you would like me to do.
I am of course somewhat confused by my ‘incitement to hatred’ when I am threatened with gang rape by one of soul and slandered by another.
Wow talk about reasoned debate – yeah lets have some.

Proof that God exists – Israel.
didn’t exist 61 years ago – Bible said it would over 2400 years ago.
No other people in the history of the world ever did that.
Hated by just about everyone – attacked by all neighbours – survived – just like Bible said it would – and continues to do so today and will continue to do so.
People that accept Christ as their saviour – are different afterwards.
The love the things they used to hate and hate th things they used to love (please take this in the correct context!)

BTW if Homosexuality etc is right why does the Bible show us that it is wrong. Old Testament and New – Romans ch1, 1 Cor 6:9 and onwards.
OK we’re not going to subcribe to the Bible – evolution – we’ll use that instead. OK
If evolution exists then the (non existent) ‘gay gene’ would have bred itself out of existence millenia ago.

Regardless – The World of God calls this behaviour along with any sexual liason(?) outside of that between a man and woman that are married to each other a sin.
By the same token the Bible quite simply and plainly labels us all as sinners with the only solution to this being to accept Christ’s sacrifice of himself as our proxy on the cross as a full and sufficient payment for the eternal death penalty that our sin deserves.

I have never incited hatred or violence to any soul and though credited with many things – this is not one of them.

Please remember that God hates the sinful things we do but loves the sinners – He does not throw the baby out with the bathwater – contrary to popular belief.
It is sad that souls so identify with their lifestyle choice that they and their actions have become indivisible.

Proof that God exists.
Wrote in the 2 Timothy ch 3 (?) that in the last days perilous times would come… and the charateristics mentioned there sum up the vast majority of the population of the world right now and show no sign of changing anytime soon.

If interested I could post more Bible references.

Pastor Mark Bradfield”

(Ed’s notes: Get a life! *makes ‘L-for-loser’ sign on forehead with thumb and forefinger*]

 

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10 comments to “A letter from a nutter.”

  1. My god (irony noted), that is hilarious!!!!!

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  2. Jesus (irony noted), it must be so tiring being an idiot…

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  3. I’d like to see Pastor M’s arguments try and stand up in a court of law. He’d be laughed out of the box.

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  4. Well, no comment necessary. The man’s patently a raving lunatic. Not a first in the religious community, it may be noted.

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  5. …..oooh, cake!

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  6. I don’t know about you, but I am totally converted. I will never sleep with a woman again.

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  7. You’ve made me hungry now. For cock and cake.

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  8. ‘Please remember that God hates the sinful things we do but loves the sinners – He does not throw the baby out with the bathwater – contrary to popular belief.
    It is sad that souls so identify with their lifestyle choice that they and their actions have become indivisible.’

    Mark – It’s not what God thinks that troubles us, it’s how some of his so called followers conduct themselves whilst they beieve they are delivering his message that is the issue. You know, the ones who firebomb abortion clinics in the name of the Lord. Or the ones who send their gay kids away to be brainwashed in an attempt to make the straight, which just ends up making their lives hell. (Yes, we understand the meaning of that word!)

    It is also truly sad that these people so identify with their lifestyle choice of Christianity that they and their actions have become indivisable.

    Could you just think, for a moment, that perhaps gay, lesbian, transexual, transgender – the list goes on – people are all part of your ‘God’s’ plan. Just like people with ginger hair or cleft palates, or people who can sing, people who are left handed, people who can’t drive or the disabled. There is a place for everyone and whether or not they subscribe to your religious belief, wish to procreate, can reach the top shelf in the kitchen cupboard or throw a fabulous dinner party is an irrelevance. The sooner you stop stigmatising, labelling and trying to convert, the sooner the world will be a slightly better place.

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  9. Ummmmm the gay gene does serve a purpose. Science….you know the fact based and empirically proved thing these religious zealots don’t believe in….has stated that the gay gene serves to stop a population becoming too large and also provides more people/animals to look after the next generation, giving them a better chance of surviving into adulthood and therefore ensuring the continuation of the species.
    But then again what does science have to do with anything when compared to a 2000 year old book?
    Also in response to the part about The Bible, or more accurately The Word of God, predicting Israel, Nostradamus predicted WWII, does that make him God? Derren Brown predicted the Lottery numbers, is he God? Half the country predicted Jordan and Peter Andre wouldn’t last the distance, are they all God?

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