Oh, we forgot to say… Katie Price, shut the fuck up.

Class in an oversized cardie.

Hello.

There’s verbal diarrhea, then there’s the euphemistic version of anal prolapse. Katie Price aka Jordan aka put some gaffer tape over your freakin’ gob and/or snatch, is just that. And spookily, she’s also the same colour as a dirty protest so it’s all working out quite well, this euphemism thing.

Anyway, so Katie Price has been raped by a celebrity. Who of course she won’t name. How very Ulrika-cunt-cunt-cunt of her.

Minor segue: Peter Andre in Heat this week? Shiny brown baby-fat tits? Not on your Nelly the Elephant.

Ooh, news just in. We got raped by a very famous male celebrity too! And we too aren’t going to name names. Though in the memo he left after leaving us face down in our own Egyptian cotton sheets read, ‘It’s not rape, just surprise sex. Ta-da!’

Bad? Taste? Much? Perhaps, but when you’re dealing with the moral playground that is Katie Price’s life, it’s all rather no holds barred, Nescafé?

*oooh, cock!*

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6 comments to “Oh, we forgot to say… Katie Price, shut the fuck up.”

  1. I used to have a strange sort of respect for Katie Price. Now she’s just a joke. Did she change her representation or something?

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  2. She really has stooped to a new low. There are some things you don’t mess with for the sake of publicity, and that is rape. Ulrika did it and she’s a vile cunt because of it. Now Jordan is the same.
    If you’re going to go public with this sort of ‘revelation’, you go to the police. If you’re not going to get the police involved, you keep it to yourself. The undignified piece of trash.

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  3. Joe, she didn’t change agents, but she found out that the public is getting bored of her ‘non-life’ – they don’t care so much about her tits anymore since they found out what a vile gobshite she was since her marriage breakup. She had to do something to get them back on side, so she dropped the rape story to gain sympathy. Problem is, as Lindy said, you go to the police, not to your publicist if you want to report something like that. the public might have a bit of respect for her then, but can see through this desperate attempt to drip-feed and spin out a ‘story’ to get some column inches…

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  4. Rape is never funny. And NOT going to the police but announcing it for publicity is beyond vile. It sends WHAT message exactly to women?

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  5. She did change agents. She used to be represented by Claire Powell of Can Associates, but they went their separate ways when news of Peter and her marriage break-up came around. Claire however is still representing Peter. Don’t ask me how I know all this – I do pay per click for a very famous red top that has a page 3 with neked ladies….

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  6. She really is a vile piece of shit. The best thing she could do now would be to crawl back under the rock she came out from and put her saggy tits and cavernous vag away and….oh i dunno….raise her kids to have some sort of normal life?

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