It hath been announ-sed that Dolly Pope Benny the Whatever is to lay fancy slippered foot upon soil in Her Majesty’s Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Except he probably won’t be going to the Northern Ireland bit as it might cause trouble.
This is all happening next autumn but bonnets are no doubt already being selected, fake Hermes scarves being given a quick once-over with a cool iron and jazzy jewels being fingered at the prospect of trying to outglitter the Queen (nice try, wise guy).
It is all the work of one Gordon Brown, who probably won’t even be Prime Minister then anyways, so it’s a bit like diplomatic knock down ginger. You know, knocking at someone’s door then running away before they can answer it.
We predict lots of jewellery and accessories (because never mind the ‘rich man getting into heaven/camel and eye of a needle’ bollocks when you have rocks this size), a space-age Pope-mobile, lots of people in cardigans frothing at the mouth, maybe even a timely assassination attempt. Well, you never know your luck…