Kylie takes another (baby) step towards her dream of actually becoming Madonna

Off! Off! Off! Off!

While the world is being scoured for dancers small enough not to make Kylie look the freakish primordial dwarf she is (various members of the Sylvanian Family are rubbing ice cubes on their nipples as we speak), Kylie herself has revealed that – just for a change – tonight, Matthew, she will be Madonna.

The set list for what looks set to be a gripping show (if your idea of gripping is having a dirty old lady with her face frozen harder than the ice caps wheeled out in a variety of outfits she knows nothing about) has been revealed and – what do you know – Kylie will be channelling Madonna. Not in the way that she might, you know, dance or have some charisma. No, Kyles will be relying on ‘singing’ versions of Our Glorious Leader’s ‘Burning Up’ and ‘Vogue’.

We can hardly wa……………………………………… Sorry, wait.

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12 comments to “Kylie takes another (baby) step towards her dream of actually becoming Madonna”

  1. Kylie makes me angry. I’m sure that’s not her intention.

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  2. Tired is what she is. At least Madonna jumps around a bit.

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  3. She has no fans left in the UK, i suppose she should be commended for going to the US. At least it means she wont be in our continent.

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  4. at least Kylie is classy and produces great songs all through her career. She is diverse and her influence on gay people are enormous. And she is a survivor – she managed to come back from her cancer episode and produces even more thought provoking poignant work on her X album. Listen to “No More Rain” and you will understand what a string woman she is.
    Madonna on the other hand had to resort to flashing her c**nt on the tour. SHame on her. Kylie has CLASS> Madonna doesn’t even know what that means!

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  5. poor truth.

    Go an watch Physical from the Light Years tour if you want to see Kylies creaking c*nt.

    Kylie doesnt hav class. just a nack for copying Madonna.

    Slag Madonna off = slag Kylie off. Fact.

    madonna has embraced the gay community for years and continues to do so. kylie simply rips them off. when did she ever do G A Y when she was big? never. only for when she needed a comeback (spining around) or when an album and single was flopping (chocolate). Madonna did it for her biggest ever hit Hung Up.

    you kylie fans are deluded.

    “X” poignant? dont think so. FLOP more like.

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  6. at least kylie has never stolen any children’s childhood from their rightful place in the world – unlike Madonna who recklessly did so (TWICE) all for the sake of cheap publicity.

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  7. yeh. im sure madonna gives $40million dollars a year of her own cash to support her orphanage in Malawi purely for cheap publicity.

    truth, i thought you were a deluded kylie fan.

    now i think you are real sick fuck with some really bad karma coming hiis/her way.

    and lets not forget, kylie is about to marry an outspoken homophobic catholic man. but you keep worshipping her. the rest of us moved on after fever.

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  8. Truth, is your real name William Baker?

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  9. what’s far sadder is the shoddy excuse for journalism. burning up is a kylie song from the fever album. same name as the madonna track, but that as far as it goes,. yes, it is mixed in with vogue, but kylie performed this medley on the homecoming tour.. so maybe this article should have been posted 3 years ago.

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  10. I love Kylie fans. Delusion is a wonderful thing.

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  11. I j’adore name*.

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  12. I’d like everyone to know what a string woman I am, too.

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