In between dishing out incontinence pads and happy pills, the people at Lloyds Pharmacy have been devising a calcumalator that can work out exactly how many people one has indirectly shagged. According to their report the average chap and chapess in the United of K has had naughties with 2.8 million people, which apparently makes us not the average chap or chapess.
Just fill in your sex, your age, the number of people you’ve bumped uglies with and their age (Age? Honey, we didn’t even get a name) and the horrifying statistics will be there in Lloyds’ patented green-grey and white.
Note to self/sluts, it doesn’t calculate over 50 shags because that would break internet and destroy the universe, so if you’re over the 50 mark, just assume you’ve fucked everybody known to man and/or beast, and stand in the corner and think about what you’ve done. *drifts off… ‘Memories, like the corners of my mind…’*
Work out your inner-slut on the Sex Degrees of Separation calcumalator.