When all else fails, turn to hand gel…

Anything's better than WKD

You’re having a party. You think you’ve stocked up enough booze to satisfy Best-levels of consumption. Alas, it runs out. Your friends, acquaintances and that homeless are bigger piss-heads and fuck-wits than you ever realised. Bars have closed and you’ve been banned from all the off-licenses after that nasty episode with that Lambrini bottle. People are getting rowdy, someone’s weeing in the corner, another has gone a bit Tranny Banks. It’s mayhem. How to placate the drunk-but-want-to-be-more-drunk masses? Hand gel.

Yes, the same hand gel that wards off swine flu and other less popular germs (we hear Max Clifford’s been in discussion with E. coli, whose profile has just plummeted since the Swines appeared on the scene). At least that’s what inmates at The Verne prison on the Isle of Portland in Dorset have been doing. And we salute them for their ingenuity. It’s got to beat WKD, right? Now pass the Carex.

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4 comments to “When all else fails, turn to hand gel…”

  1. I’ve tried it with sugar and it does in fact taste like WKD, so not ideal, but it has the desired effect.

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  2. I once put poppers in my eye.

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  3. Prisoners are very wily.
    And hot.

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  4. I thought you said willy. But you didn’t. Oh well.

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