Method 1: Determine how excited you are about the imminent release of a film starring not only a line-up of Fosse-style babes but Penelope Cruz, Sir Dame Judi Dench, Marion Cotillard, Fergie off-of a Black Eyed Pea (or Pee, if you ever saw that pic of her having wet herself live on stage), Dame Sophia Loren… oh, and Daniel Day Lewis.
It’s called Nine, it’s a musical, it’s directed by NSG (narrow shouldered gay, it’s a new expression: live it, love it, give it) Garry Marshall and it’s out in November. There’s a little ET making of (you can imagine the depth and insight) over the jump just to get you frothing at the fanny.
Method 2: Place your hands flat on a surface – could be a desk, could be a hooker’s back – and compare the lengths of your index and ring fingers.
If your ring finger is longer than your index finger, then you may be gay but at least you have a masculine bone in your body (there’s a dirty joke in there for those hard up for a dirty joke). The bigger the difference between your ring and your index, the more masculine you are.
If, conversely, your index finger is longer than your ring finger, you are a full-blown lady. Again, the bigger the difference, the bigger a lulu you are.
Scientific fact that is. Tried and found true. It’s called 2D4D or something. Now for that dolly video, you massive-index-fingered FREAKS!