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Pussy tunes

Mew mewOk, ok, ok. Alright, alright, alright. Settled down! We know we’ve gone a little furball mad, but who doesn’t like a furball *ahem*? Mother always told us, if you’ve got it don’t hide it under a bushel… or something. So we just came across (not that way, dutty bastards) this video of kitties singing, playing drums and generally creating a mashed up choon that the Freemasons are most probably remixing right… not yet… wait for it… now. Over the jump and enjoy ladies, gennels and inbextixters. (more…)
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Bysey bye, now let me scrub your filth off me

The horror, the horror

Oh dear, we loves a faux-pas. Mostly because it’s a French phrase and French makes us horny *rubs self with a croissant* but also because they’re usually funny in a cringe, hide behind your acrylic nails kinda way. So when OGL fled left Malawi after a recent visit, she waved out of the window of her getaway car to say toodleloo to her beloveds, clasping onto hand sanitiser like her life depended on it. Baby Jesus David only knows what happened once that window was wound up. Sheep dip anyone?

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Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *deep breath* wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Oh hello there!Is it a cat? Is it a cuddly toy? Is it the Beast from the East? No, it’s Moon Pig Kelly Osbourne’s birthday present… A Pomeranian called Sid. That’s it really. We like it because it’s small, fluffy and we’re still trying to wipe the image of those terrifying thyroid babies from our memory and pictures of cute things seem to help.

*sings* Moon Pig, Moon Pig, Moon Pig dot com.

The end.

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Eyes

Thyroid issues?That is all.
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Poppa?

*reaches for drawstring*

First off, that pal of ours who’s just signed up to AA… Very courageous ‘n’ all, but we’ve lost enough people to that disease and besides, there’s a lemon drop sitting here with your name all over it. The name which shall remain anonymous, the dirty thieving alcoholic bastard.

Secondly, seconds. Don’t you just love ’em?

Trois-ly, ‘im up there *waves*

Fourths… apparently, ‘im up there is called Phil Baroni. Mmmm, bacon. We’ve got another picture of him after the break, in which he kind of looks a bit, well, knobby. Not to worry. Anyway, it’s all rather spooky because there’s a back bottom sitting here with Phil’s name all over it. And it’s Halloween. You can’t make this shit up!

*fiddles with a big broom* (more…)

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Yum yum in kitty’s tum

Yummy

We are an absolute sucker for a gratuitous pussy shot in the orifice (read office) and this is officially our new favourite video of a very-furry-eared kitty cat eating his dinner with chopsticks. Yes, he’s probably thinking, ‘Enough already! I’m hungry you silly bitch, just put the bowl down and let me stuff my mush like any other self-respecting pussy’, but it’s still cute. Cuter than silly bint Bai Ling or Ling Bai or whatever the eff she’s called, who decided to take her cat to some premiere or other when she should have been at home teaching it how to use chopsticks. Now lerrus watch kitty cat over the jump. (more…)

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Scratch that itch, bitch

'It burns when I go toiley'

Now we don’t know where Kristina Rihanoff off-of couldn’t look more Eastern European if she tried, has been, but she may or may not have given our favourite boxer (well, we think he’s our favourite boxer, we don’t really know any others apart from the Beast from the East who we saw on BBC Breakfast and nearly wet-weed ourselves with fear) Joe Calzaghe something unwelcome in the downstairs department. Then again, he might just be re-arranging his little Welsh man-parts. Who knows, but the picture amused us and Rihanoff reminded us of Alan Partridge’s ‘back of the net’ wife. Tee and/or hee.

Ooh, ooh, we just found a picture of the Beast from the East. He’s 7ft 4, hairier than an actual bear of the animal kind and might possibly be the missing link. Just imagine the willy! Over the furry jump with you. (more…)

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GET OFF! Jeeze Louise…..

That's a big ring.

*pops on the x-ray specs; £2.99 down Vision Express*

Oh, Jenson Button. No relation to Cadbury’s Buttons, Button Moon or indeed Benson & Hedges.

Mmmm, Cadbury’s Buttons…

 

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