Ignore the orange monstrosity, block out the unforgivable denim and squint until that air pump becomes a penis

*gets a semi*

Ah, that’s better. This is Hollyoaks’ Ricky Whittle – which sounds a bit like Sticky Widdle, which sounds a bit like us white-weeing all over the shop having just frigged ourselves off to a Hollyoaks Late episode – as seen pumping up *tingle* the tyres on his horrible new car. That’s more or less the beginning and end of that story, but it is far from the beginning and end of our enjoyment of Rick, who is pressing all our back buttons on Strictly Come Dancing with all his swish-swishing and cha-cha-ing.

So let us remind ourselves why Sticky is our new favourite boyfriend. (Ignore the Calvins plural. It’s his name on Hollyoaks, so maybe he needs a reminder).


*fiddles with widdle* Lose the gap year wristbands and we'll talk, sorry, fuck Calvin who? 'Manuel! Sweaty!'

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4 comments to “Ignore the orange monstrosity, block out the unforgivable denim and squint until that air pump becomes a penis”

  1. I like the word ‘frig’

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  2. How can an actor from Hollyoaks afford that car?

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  3. I like how he even takes his top off on the red carpet. Conceited, much?

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  4. I’ve just cum

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