How much would you pay to see this CCTV footage?
Picture it: two dolly old trannies, both in high heels, one in a pink wig are toddling along in Cardiff, busy-style, obviously on their way somewhere when they cross paths with two… let’s just call them cunts. Said cunts see said dollies and decide that they will be very easy to have a go at. They are dollies after all.
Drunkens Dean Gardener and Jason Fender started off, as drunkens are wont to do, with a little light verbal abuse along the lines of ‘Oi poofs!’ (we’re using creative licence here) before laying into our dollies, who we already have quite a bit of affection for.
Unbeknownst to the cunts (and this is where it’s a little like Candid Camera: Extreme), the dollies were in fact cage fighters ‘hilariously’ done up for a stag night. So when said cunts started their workaday queerbashing, guess who it was who ended up on the rough end of the bashing? Not the ‘dollies’ (quote marks now required), that’s for sure.
And then guess who ended up with a four-month community order and an electronic tag to wear under their cheap trackie bottoms? Same people!
‘It comes to something,’ said one of the cage fighters to the waiting press throng, wearing a sensible pencil skirt and black court shoes ‘when a chap can’t go out in a pair of Louboutins and some Cherry Pie lipgloss without this sort of brou ha ha.’
It’s that creative licence again, but you can imagine.