Oct 8
2009

Whitney Houston… *claps* To sing… *claps plural* Live… *claps plural times infinity* On X Factor. *stops*… Oh, it was all going so well.

By on October 8, 2009

Blakey could drive a bus between 'em

Having finally shimmied her way out of her pyjamas, Whitney off-of Houston we have a problem, is rolling her arse onto the X Factory for her first performance on the UK telly box in 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11, 12 years.

She’ll be on the show on 18th October and has said she can’t wait to meet Simon Cowell and his vagina hair. Well, something along those lines anyway. She’ll be mentoring the no-hopefuls and performing her latest single. Conveniently her comeback ‘I ain’t no junky no more, bitch’ album is released the very next day, which we can safely say is a corker. We have our advanced copy, see? *shows off, dances around, contemplates Simon Cowell’s chode, sits down, is sick*

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5 comments to “Whitney Houston… *claps* To sing… *claps plural* Live… *claps plural times infinity* On X Factor. *stops*… Oh, it was all going so well.”

  1. cher fan October 8, 2009 at 4:45 pm |

    Can not freaking wait!

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  2. chas and/or dave October 8, 2009 at 4:46 pm |

    I might even have to tune in to this piece of shit show to see this.

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  3. Pilar Palabundar October 8, 2009 at 5:13 pm |

    I can’t think of anything I’d like to put in my mouth less than Simon Cowell’s chode.

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  4. Innocent Smoothy October 8, 2009 at 5:33 pm |

    What’s a chode?

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  5. name* October 9, 2009 at 7:50 am |

    I hope she pushes her tits back together by then. Judging by the picture they seem to have grown apart.

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