If only everybody could get along, the world would be a more boring place and stories like this little chestnut wouldn’t have us spluttering into our skinny capp.
It’s an age old question, What would happen if a gay man, a lesbian couple and three-legged cat lived in the same road? Kidnap, curry and attempted murder it seems. Certainly in Manchester anyway, where an angry gay called Stewart decided to lace curry with slug pellets before giving it to his lesbian neighbours who’d accused him of kidnapping their three-legged cat. As someone unimaginative might say, you couldn’t make it up.
Apparently after months of scrapping, death threats and alleged kitty-kidnappings, Stewart popped over and offered the ladies-of-a-lesbian-nature some of his left-over curry as a peace offering. And that ladies and gennels, is what you will find in the Oxford English Dictionary as the definition of ‘pikey’.
Luckily the couple discovered the pellets and called the police – presumably only after fishing the poison out and polishing off the vindaloo scraps. Oh dear *tuts* it makes Shameless look like Dynasty.