Tom Cruise may not, under any circumstances, be the most famous closet gay in the whole of Hollywood, but at least he can fly like the baby Jesus.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Eeeeeee!

Oh Thomas Cruise, you’re such a lark. We loved you in Sylvanian Families, we loved you in My Little Pony: The Movie, we even loved you in the well-received biopic, ‘Undersized Twats Who Shout Their Way Through Movie Roles II’. It had us on the edge of our seats, edging. On our seats. The edge. Seats. Edge.

In this particular incident, Tom Cruise off-of whichever poor sod he’s ‘schtupping’ at the moment, is flying above a moving vehicle during a sequence for his new moving picture, in which he plays a secret agent who keeps bugging the shit out of Cameron Diaz. And moves a lot. Oh we just. Can’t. Wait.

*pulls eyes out*

In other news, cats can also fly…

Fighting? Are you lesbians?

 

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3 comments to “Tom Cruise may not, under any circumstances, be the most famous closet gay in the whole of Hollywood, but at least he can fly like the baby Jesus.”

  1. Did anyone see Tom Thumb in War of the Worlds? He literally can’t run down the road without overacting.

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  2. The baby Jesus could indeed fly

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  3. Tom Cat Don’t Like Pussy.

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