Nurse: ‘Your wife is about to give birth’ Father to be: ‘Great. Now give us a feel of your tits!’

Phwoar! Look at that afterbirth

This is our favouritest tale of the weekend, a heart-warming story of a dad-to-be who missed the birth of his first son due to being arrested for groping up the nurse who was wheeling the expectant wife into the delivery room. That’s him. Not bad.

The whole thing ‘went down’ in Utah at the McKay-Dee Hospital (which sounds suspiciously like Maccy Dee as McDonald’s is known about these parts: have they branched out into hospital care? Will it soon be, ‘Would you like fries and a hysterectomy with that burger?’?)

Dad-to-be – or 30-year-old Adam Manning as his mother calls him: ’30-year-old Adam Manning, get in here for your tea!’ – was apparently eyeing the nurse ‘up and down’ (so not just eyeing her up, to get this clear, but eyeing her ‘up and down’), commenting on how cute she was before going to touch her neck then moving in on the tits.

‘Don’t worry about him,’ said the wife, by now deep-breathing and demanding drugs (not to ease the pain, she just thought it would be a good moment to try her luck). ‘He’s just drunk.’

Well, that’s alright then. We thought he was sober and trying to tit-fuck the nurse wheeling his wife into the delivery room, but if he was drunk that puts a whole new complexion on things…

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3 comments to “Nurse: ‘Your wife is about to give birth’ Father to be: ‘Great. Now give us a feel of your tits!’”

  1. Oh my, that’s hilarious and genius and heart-warming all at the same time. Yey!

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  2. The council tash just makes it absolute perfection in a grope.

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  3. He can feel me up any day of the week. Even if I am actually delivering a baby.

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