Say it ain’t gay either, but that’s a whole other story.
So here’s Blanche – Corrie battleaxe (we hate the word ‘battleaxe’. It’s so very Inside Soap. Let’s go for battlecunt instead); comedy genius; one eye dead, the other doing cartwheels for light relief – perusing someone’s nasty gash in Chit Chat magazine in an ep of Coronation Street written by Gimme Gimme Gimme guy Jonathan Harvey. She’s Deirdre Barlow Rasheed’s mother, George Michael’s favourite character and probably the funniest thing on TV (apart from maybe Harry Hill and Sir Trevor ‘can’t you even read?’ McDonut). And now she may be no more. For the real life lady playing her in real life (real? Wha? Cha?) has been taken to a real hospital and has had to be written out of the soap, rush-job-like. For realz.
Which is just about the saddest news we’ve heard all of ever. No more references to gummy parrots, no more slagging off Liz McDonald for looking like a hooker, no more shattering the dreams of young children who believe in Postman Pat and the sanctity of the Post Office (how very timely), no more Loose Women asides, no more no more. Anymore.
*bangs head on desk repeatedly; and again and again*
Jump the jump sponsored by Harveys the Furniture Store for some of Blanche’s finest moments plural…