Lady of the lamp

'Got to rub me the right way, honey'

Apart from the tits thing, why would we ever associate Pamela Anderson off of the thinnest fanny in fashion, with lamps? Well news has reached our shores by way of winged dove – haven’t you heard? Royal Mail is so over – that the Walker’s Wotsit up there (as seen in Richie Rich’s Miami show last eve. Ooh, a cheesey puff *eats*) will be appearing in panto this Christmas (yay!) as the Genie of the Lamp (yay! plural) at the New Wimbledon Theatre (oh).

Ms Magazine Anderson will be there for two whole human weeks – also known as a ‘fortnight’, or ‘the longest we’ve ever been without a spray tan’ – before Paul O’ Grady takes over, so, you know, get there early. Although we heart Paul, we wouldn’t go south of the river for him like we would Pamela-la, which rather than being a nudge-nudge wink-wink bit of innuendo is more a John Prescott-esque commentary on the north-south divide in London’s glittering London. Of fuck it, we’d go south of the river for pretty much anyone after enough Babycham.

Toodlepip.

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4 comments to “Lady of the lamp”

  1. She looks a little dead inside.

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  2. She also looks like she’s been on holiday to the surface of the sun.

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  3. She’s needed to see to those roots for 15 years now.

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  4. Do you think that foil round her next has been left over from when she was baking in the oven?

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