‘We thought Tom Cruise was the biggest bore on the face of the earth. He was tense and made constant, unrelated homophobic comments like, “You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?”‘

That's sexy.

That, ladies and gentleladies, is a quote from an interview Bronson Pinchot gave to The Onion’s A.V.Club.

Bronson Pinchot was in Perfect Strangers and Beverly Hills Cop the Third, but that’s neither hither nor thither. What is hither and very much thither is what he said about Tom Thumb Cruise, the most famous closet gay in the whole of Hollywood the most famous twat in the whole of Hollywood (don’t sue us, sir! Those poor children won’t get anything!), and with whom Bronson starred in Risky Business.  

‘There was no basis for it,’ continues Bronson. ‘It was like, “It’s a nice day, I’m glad there are no gay people standing here.” Very, very strange. He made such a big deal about it. Same thing with Eddie Murphy.’

*puts pen down; looks around room, nodding, smiling; picks up pen*

Any…way… ‘You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?’ Honestly, what the fuck is that? Polari for ‘Please bum me rotten’?

Sylvanian Family pots calling normal sized kettles black? We hear you, girlfren’.

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2 comments to “‘We thought Tom Cruise was the biggest bore on the face of the earth. He was tense and made constant, unrelated homophobic comments like, “You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?”‘”

  1. This silly little man makes my skin crawl.

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  2. Would he become attractive if he admitted he was gay? Votes please, yay or nay.

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