Nick Griffin’s main problem? That poppy wasn’t nearly big enough

'Can you explain the dimensions of that poppy?'

When it comes to proving how British you are, nothing works quite so well as a poppy. The bigger the better. On last night’s Question Time (nearly 8 million viewers and a small scale riot, thank you very much), Tory MP and fair weather homophobe Sayeeda Warsi proved herself to be more British than the actually physically repellent Nick Griffin: his was normal size, hers was just short of the size of a satellite dish.

As for the debate….

Well. Cheeky Mr. Griffin – chuckling in a very sinister manner throughout. Learned behaviour from his namesake, Family Guy’s Peter Griffin, perhaps – denied that he denied the Holocaust (or did he? It wasn’t clear), admitted he hung out with Ku Klux Klan members (very nice people, apparently), tried to deny that he’d said ‘Hitler went a bit too far’ (a bit!), said he found the sight of gay men together ‘creepy’ (loved the lesbian who said that she found him equally creepy) and generally proved himself to be the nasty piece of work we already knew he was. No news is the new news, after all.

It was the rest of the panel – and the audience! – that let the show down. Bonnie Greer with her sneery, patronising, ‘Oh, you only got a 2:2’ and ‘I’ve brought some things along for you to read’ was unpleasant. Jack Straw was alright (faint praise, etc) though gave a shit answer over the immigration policy question; the Lib Dem fella (we don’t need names when it comes to Lib Dems) was the most eloquent of the lot; David Dimbleby at least confronted Warsi on her alleged intolerance of the gays and also had a nice tie. Green with a floral motif. Talk about controversy. But really, the audience… It felt like rabid children on a school bus sticking gum in the special needs kid’s hair. Or a bunch of punch-drunk lunatics surrounding a pinata at a themed barbeque.

The most telling thing was, however, the penultimate topic of the night. ‘Should The Daily Mail have published Jan Moir’s “I hate the gays, they’re all gonna die!” treatise last week’ (NB. She’s ‘apologised‘ and now denies she said Stephen Gately died because he was gay. So not only is she a cunt, she suffers from amnesia. And bad hair).

Of course they should! the panel all agreed. We live in a democracy! they all cried, leaping simultaneously onto the free speech bandwagon – the same free speech bandwagon that those crusty clowns outside BBC House had been trying to pull from beneath Nick Griffin only moments previously.

And did anyone notice the only difference between the paedophilia-apologist, anti-gay, mysogynistic, AIDS-denying, Nazi-loving lunatic going by the name of The Pope was the absense of gold lamé. And millions of the great brain-washed fawning at his feet.

You see, children: there is absolute intolerance of racism and any of its associates are immediately bastardised. And quite rightly so, etc. Homophobia? ‘Tis the intolerance that dare speak its name. They even have a fanzine. It’s called the Daily Mail. Oh, and The Sun. And The Star. And The Telegraph. It’s not quite the Car Clamp Club but members are asked to leave their brains at the door on the way in, which is nice.

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4 comments to “Nick Griffin’s main problem? That poppy wasn’t nearly big enough”

  1. Damp squib weren’t it? How disappointing – and I stupidly cancelled potential bumming to watch it live. What a silly sausage I am.

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  2. I LOVED Dimbleby’s tie and so glad you picked up on it. Its serene beauty distracted me from the all the Jeremy Kyle-esque chaos of the studio.

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  3. Hear here, whichever one it is.

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  4. Good observations mememe … guess he’s blown the gay vote now!

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