*Slowly. Extends. Arm.*
Hello Corrie bum chums.
So, Nicky Tilsley off-of Gail ‘where does my neck start and hair end? Who can say’ Platt is set to make a, and we quote, ‘dramatic’ return to *checks notes* Coronation Street.
*claps; readjusts; claps louder*
And what’s more, he’s coming back in a dramatic fashion. With drama. Dramatically. By bumming Tina, who used to go out with Nick’s half-brother (where’d the other half go?), David ‘mad as a box of hair’ Platt.
Jeez Louise, it’s like a bloody soap opera.
Anyway, the crux of all of this brouhaha is that the male bloke playing the new Nicky is not Adam Rickitt(s) off-of worst actor in the world (except Heather off EastEnders) turned wannabe Tory MP (boooo, etc) – but Ben Price, erstwhile Footballers Wives star, and never knowlingly dressed therein. And he was a bi therein! Or should that be Bi! Yes, he was one of those fabled stopovers on the way to gay.
And to celebrate, let’s first look at (slightly NSFW, depending of course on where you W) pictures of Ben Price in his happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you suit; then at a some moving pictures where he (shock. Horror. White wee) kisses a bloke; then at Adam Rickitt’s shit-but-homoerotic-so-we’ll-forgive-him pop song, ‘I Breathe Again’, from all the way back when being talentless wasn’t a bar to gettting on the telly. If only it was like that now… *cries a river*
This arse, soon to be appearing in Coronation Street.,