This is going to be the funnest post-humous exhibition since The Mother Theresa Experience

Ooh, is it a Vermeer?

When Mother Theresa died all she left behind was the wimple she stood up in, a simple olive-wood crucifix and a pair of Oliver Peoples sunglasses. Not much for an exhibition, true, though the water rides were excellent.

Thankfully, Mickey Michael Jackson left a whole bunch of hilarious goods behind when he went on the glittery way (and, no, that’s not a metaphor for anal sex). There’s this authentic oil painting of him in times gone by, some sparkly gloves, a letter from Ronald Reagan saying how sorry he was to hear that Michael’s hair had been set on fire during the filming of a Pepsi commercial (yes, really! Do you think he was able to write it without smirking? Actually, do you think he was able to write it full stop?) and a shoe with some of the heel missing as worn during the ‘Smooth Criminal’ video.

Such treasures are to be displayed just a few short miles down the River Thames from the Crown Jewels at a space near where Michael was to have performed (maybe, probably not) his fifty concerts at the 02 before it goes on a whirlwind tour of the globe so art lovers worldwide can marvel at the, erm, loveliness of the shit.

The exhibition will open shortly – and cleverly – after This Is It, the documentary, hits cinemas.

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