So there he is, restaurant critic and all-round toss pot AA Gill, on safari in Tanzania for the Sunday Times (is it us or should that newspaper think more about quality than quantity? We don’t need 7,469 pages of TOTAL SHIT). Feeling the overwhelming impulse to find out what it would be like to kill a human being, as you do when you’ve been brought up through the public school system, AA took aim at a passing baboon just going about its business and let him have it.
‘I took him just below the armpit,’ he bragged. ‘He slumped and slid sideways. I’m told they can be tricky to shoot: they run up trees, hang on for grim life. They die hard, baboons. But not this one. A soft-nosed .357 blew his lungs out.’
‘This is morally completely indefensible,’ said Steve Taylor, off-of the League Against Cruel Sports. ‘If this rabid cunt (actually, those are our words) wants to know what it like to shoot a human, he should take aim at his own leg (those are Steve’s)’. Or his own children! (Ours) Get rid of the next generation of over-privileged arsewipes. (Ours). ‘If you are killing to eat, that is a different matter. This is killing for fun.’ (Steve’s). ‘AA Gill deserves a swift kick up the cunt.’ (Steve’s. Sorry, ours).
One other thing: a baboon is not a human being.
We knew that AA Gill was a posh useless wanker, but even we didn't think he was a cunt of this magnitude,