It’s a handy-as-all-hell Christian Cock-Blocker for your interweb!
The pain-free alternative to electric shock treatment for the God-bothering pussies amongst us – every time the dirty bastards log on with the intention of jacking off, a warning appears telling said sexual miscreant will, if any flicking off were to occur, be crucifying the Baby G all over again. But it’s only a little light masturbation! Jeeze…
But poor old Baby G…… just how many times does the ensembley-challenged son of God have to get nailed to that damn thing? It’s hardly a Tempur mattress!
So our mission is clear. Spare a thought – touching yourself inappropriately whilst you do, if need be – for those 934 fucked up souls (see above visual) who like nothing better of an evening than to log on to www.bummedbytheboss.com (whilst, in the background, The One Show’s Christine Bleakley is mouthing something about fabric softener), heads full-to-bursting with images of His Royal Highness the Jesus off-of Christ Our Lordy Lord doing his business on the big wooden thing. It’s enough to send you crazy with a side of bonkers.
Oh, but before you do, repeat after us… ‘All human instinct must be crushed! All human instinct must be crushed! Stacey for X Factor! All human instinct must be crushed!’