At last an end to the vile mash-up that is Oxford Circus. Now all they have to do is knock down all the shops between there and Tottenham Court Road

X marks the spot

First of all, some vocabulary. A ‘circus’ is not just somewhere animals might be tormented for the amusement of the general public or a concert tour where Britney Spears walks around looking fat and disorientated. It is also what we in London call ‘an intersection’.

And by far the worst circus in London – apart from the Britney thing when it was here – is a circus known as Oxford. Or Oxford Circus. Say that a couple of times. Let it roll round your mouth. God knows you’ve let enough other things roll round your mouth.

Well, due to overcrowding and the fact that it might take you half an hour and some bruised ribs to get from Benetton to Topshop, town planners have decided that we should have what is known as a ‘Tokyo style’ crossing. Which means you don’t have to walk all the way round, you can actually cross diagonally.

Exciting, right! The only thing is, though the shops from The OC (that’s Oxford Circus) down to Marble Arch are alright – Selfridges, John Lewises, St. Christopher Place – the ones from The OC the other way – apart from maybe Topshop and Marksies – need to go. Unless you’re in the market for a ‘My folks went to London and all I got was this lousy case of crabs’ T-shirt or some salmonella from the Chinese Buffet, that is.

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4 comments to “At last an end to the vile mash-up that is Oxford Circus. Now all they have to do is knock down all the shops between there and Tottenham Court Road”

  1. Cambridge is my favourite London circus.

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  2. mine too. a favourite meeting point. though for a short while we were calling it spamalot corner. still worked though.

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  3. Holborn Circus is handier for me, but I’ll give you Cambridge for quaintness

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  4. Get rid of at least two thirds of the people, then we can talk…

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