Much like Diana Ross before him and the Baby G before her, the gennelman in the warm wooden box some people like to call a ‘sauna’ likes his arms in the spread position. It says drama, it says armpits, it says stop! In the name of love.
It’s also an advert for ES kecks. Not to be confused with ES Magazine, in which you’ll find all the news, views, fashion faux pas, beauty tips and drop-a-dress-size-before-noon secrets of only the most obscure London aristocrats. And let’s face it, we all need to know that. It’s amazing how ES Magazine really understand their demographic. S’almost touching.
*pauses; wipes tear*
We won’t be buying any ES gruds, just so’s you know. We did, however, conduct a survey within the orifice, e-snappily entitled ‘Want pants are YOU wearing today?’. These are the results:
– One Jock brief. White, no embellishments, almost transparent. Especially when wet.
– One pair of grey Calvin Kleins. Also briefs. With fly hole, meaning no pulling down for business of any kind. Just pulling to the side.
– A boxer. Not the dog.
– An Aussiebum. They’ve just been sacked.
– Some sort of thong. We have girls here and everything. How modern are we?
– And on our imaginary friend, commando. That’s the surprise!
– And c) and d)
Talking of pants and the mens, here is Mark Foster off-of swimming in nought but his lily whites. Why not?