Gwyneth Paltrow’s a big ole lez! She also likes tapas. So totally related.

Nicole and Gwyneth, sitting in a tree, K. I. S. S. licky licky licky...


So here’s a mind-fuck of a situ’… Gwyneth ‘Goop? We’ll be the judge of that’ Paltrow has replaced Charlize Theron as Nicole Kidman’s wife in upcoming mister/sister moving picture The Danish Girl – in which Kidman aka Eyebrows plays artist Lili Elbe, who in the 1930s became one of the world’s first recognised transsgender women. Before Lili Elbe was Lile Elbe, she was Gok Wan Einar Wegener.

Confused much? Turned on much? Thirsty… much?

Gwyneth – who is known in some circles as Gwynnie, G in others and, if she plays her cards right, Glen – will play Greta Wegener. That would be the wife of Eyebrows bit. Which we like ’cause Greta sounds like grated cheese. And Wegener sounds like weener. And weener sounds like cock.

And, punningly, guess who’s written the screenplay for The Danish Girl? Lucinda Coxon.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, Lucinda…

Now who wants to look at Nicole Kidman before she discoverd Frizz Ease, dubbed into French?! *sucks on inhaler*


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2 comments to “Gwyneth Paltrow’s a big ole lez! She also likes tapas. So totally related.”

  1. My head hurts…

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  2. I like tapas. Just throwing it out there.

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