Is that 39 stone of fat in your trousers or are you just… No, we can’t finish that

Noah and the Whale?Sorry to be a bore and/or a thoroughly controversial fattist, but we can’t get on that coveted property ladder for love nor money nor prostitution. Turns out all we needed to do was eat shit all day and put on a shed load (literally. A shed weighs about 39 stone what with all the half-empty/half-full Dulux tins, spades and ex-partners) of weight and we’d not only get a house, but one will be specially made for our new-found curves. *pops out for a burger*

Cue new Daily Mail feature ‘What would a real man look like in this house?’ For we all know ‘real’ means ‘fat’. Like ‘nice’ means ‘mediocre’ and ‘Jan Moir’ means ‘twat’.

*swallows some sick*

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

More dolly #content:

6 comments to “Is that 39 stone of fat in your trousers or are you just… No, we can’t finish that”

  1. I’m enjoying the wife/carer’s blouse, though.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  2. Wait! Did he eat his last house?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  3. Pilar – I thought you said, “wayfarer’s boouse” and I thought, “Do they still HAVE SEX?”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  4. As a fatty, just let me say THIS IS BOLLOCKS! A new, custom-made house is *not* the solution. In case it needs to be stated: THE SOLUTION IS TO LOSE WEIGHT.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  5. I just laughed out loud. Like, out loud. Loud. Noise and everything.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
  6. I like that, even in extreme obesity, he opts for a Grecian church dome blue for his choice of top.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Leave a comment