Leave it to Grazia – the magazine for fat girls – to come up with this stellar make-over for everyone’s favourite/least favourite retards/very clever boys. Imaginate the features meeting if you can.
‘OK, I know. Let’s get, you know, like Jedward. For the magazine. For like a feature.’
‘Oh, great idea, Jacinta. Because some of our readers are so fat and friendless they love X Factor.’
‘But what shall we do with them? Shall we do some lovely photos? Of them? For the magazine? They do have, like, incredibly funny hair.’
‘Yeah, but wait one moment, Jacinta. Run with me on this… why don’t we do a picture of them WITHOUT the funny hair?’
‘Stop right there missy. You are either an evil genius or someone fat who works on Grazia…’
‘Thanks. Well, sort it out for me. I need to make up something about Katie Holmes for the cover…’