Okay, so hands up. This isn’t exactly hot off the presses. It is, however, luke warm off-of them and we’ve been spreading ourselves very thin on a Ryvita biscuit that you can see floating down the Thames most mornings, so please, save your bons mots for us and your vitriol for your mother.
So this guy. Welsh, had Simon Cowell tattooed on his arse, goes by the name of Blane Dickinson. Which is actually quite a good name. Shame his arse looks like Phil Mitchell.
Interesting fact in the style of a boxout: When you type ‘Phil Mitchell’ into Google and that predictive search thing comes up, the second on the list is ‘Phil Mitchell dogging’. And who wants to see that?
So, you know, the tattoo. Simon Cowell looks like he’s got shingles, and it gives us the opportunity to say, ‘Well, this is the first time we’ve seen a cunt on someone’s arse.’ Even though we don’t really think Simon Cowell’s a cunt, but for the purposes of this, artistic license and general Holiday spirit, we’ll say he is.
And can we talk about the general fabric around the arse? Really, can we? How homeless.
And whilst we’re here, Blane ‘Ooh, the’ Dickins(son) (work with us!) said this on the matter:
‘It’s tongue in cheek.’
Really, rimming. This is a family show.
Now let’s look at the sort of arse that would send gay men running for vagina…