Wet Joe is the last gay standing as Anal Danyl goes out of X Factory

Three times a lady

So, it was the Essex massive – and in Olly’s case we really do think it might be massive – against the celebrity gays (one out, one with no reason to be out as he has the word ‘gay’ written in every strand of his DNA for the whole world to read, wye aye. Or as Auntie Rita of Old Spanish Man said at a recent gig, in the style of Louis Walsh: ‘You remind me of a young alive Stephen Gately’) in last night’s X Factory semi-finale. Oh, and can we just take the time to thank that gay – you know who you are, WE know who you are – who tipped off the Sunday Times-reading twats about the George and Dragon’s X Factor evenings compered by Princess Julia. Some people spoil it for everyone.

And even though Olly can’t really sing, Stacey can’t really sing anything apart from the songs she can really sing (one’s mother happened to comment, ‘Is this is a singing competition or just a singing loud competition?’) and Joe can’t sing anything but power ballads from Disney princess movies (why don’t any of the judges mention this?), it was Anal Danyl, with his little ‘knitted toy’ face, who we have actually come to like/lust over who took the bullet.

So, will Little Joe, the wettest gay in pop since Will Young, take the prize? Does a big Essex knob count for nothing these days? Don’t we actually want a muppet of the stature of Stacey taking the world stage? You pays your money (if you are a mug), you takes your choice.

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10 comments to “Wet Joe is the last gay standing as Anal Danyl goes out of X Factory”

  1. Go Essex massive!
    Go away creepy Joe!

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  2. Can I just say, how small is Joe? He’s a good foot shorter than Dermot ‘plastic paddy’ O’Leary, and he’s bordering on the dwarf. Is Joe primordial?

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  3. Lulu, I believe Joe is medically a dwarf. And can we talk about the teeth?

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  4. Pilar, honey, I KNOW! It’s like he’s got a whole collection of comedy gnashers in his mouth at the same time. All it needs for the vom to officially rise out of my stomach is for there to be a bit of spinach lodged in-between.

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  5. Joe to win. Better comedy teeth than a knitted face and would being gay be so negative?

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  6. The little mini gay is the only one who can win. Unfortunately Robbie William still exists, so there’s no need for professional Essex ‘boy next door who always dreamt of being a pop star’ and as for Stacey … a punch in the face (think Leona book signing) next time she starts her over-excited puppy routine might just be in order!

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  7. Love the gays – I personally wouldn’t bum anything else! – but hate the Joe. Too eager to please.

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  8. The way Joe tilts his head to the side as the judges are heaping praise on him causes me no end of grief. As do his teeth. And his lady’s body. Oh, and the accent. And the fact he smells of wet cheese.

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  9. I quite like that Michaelle McManus. She should win.

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  10. The fact that the winner’s song is allegedly going to be “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus makes me feel that I hope no one wins so that no one has to hear that song again. Do like a nice big Essex knob as often as I can get em.

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