So, it was the Essex massive – and in Olly’s case we really do think it might be massive – against the celebrity gays (one out, one with no reason to be out as he has the word ‘gay’ written in every strand of his DNA for the whole world to read, wye aye. Or as Auntie Rita of Old Spanish Man said at a recent gig, in the style of Louis Walsh: ‘You remind me of a young alive Stephen Gately’) in last night’s X Factory semi-finale. Oh, and can we just take the time to thank that gay – you know who you are, WE know who you are – who tipped off the Sunday Times-reading twats about the George and Dragon’s X Factor evenings compered by Princess Julia. Some people spoil it for everyone.
And even though Olly can’t really sing, Stacey can’t really sing anything apart from the songs she can really sing (one’s mother happened to comment, ‘Is this is a singing competition or just a singing loud competition?’) and Joe can’t sing anything but power ballads from Disney princess movies (why don’t any of the judges mention this?), it was Anal Danyl, with his little ‘knitted toy’ face, who we have actually come to like/lust over who took the bullet.
So, will Little Joe, the wettest gay in pop since Will Young, take the prize? Does a big Essex knob count for nothing these days? Don’t we actually want a muppet of the stature of Stacey taking the world stage? You pays your money (if you are a mug), you takes your choice.