Sade. New single. ‘Soldier of Love’. *wet wees*. *white wees*.

Welcome back, missy.

It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for…

*12″ scratches to a halt* Don’t you just hate it when things start with ‘it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for’? Lame is what it is. We promise never to do it again. It’s all rather presumptuous too, non? What if only 82% of us are sat there, poised, twiddling our thumbs, semi…?

It’s the moment 82% of us have been waiting for… Sade’s new single-ette, ‘Soldier of Love’! We’re even looking at the cover of the January issue of Men’s Health and he’s quite obviously been waiting for it. In-between having his six-pack enhanced by a Crayola, a little arrow pointing to his brawny chest with the coverline, ‘How to Build a Chest She’ll Treasure! p15’, even though we all know the person most of the Men’s Health demographic will want to please is most definitely a he *pats hair, Mae West style-ee*.

So, ‘Soldier of Love’… it’s the first single from Sade’s new album of the same name, out 8th February. By which time we would’ve grown our hair out so it’s just like Sade’s, and gotten one of those nimble waifs on Hungerford Bridge to make us a pair of hoop earrings out of bits of old Coke cans. Diet Coke if we’re feeling fat, fat, fat.

Look, listen, feel if you will, after the break. It’s genius is what it is, and we can’t get the beat out of our head. Alongside the knowledge that ‘comedian’ Michael McIntyre is a pile of shite.

Sade.com

 

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4 comments to “Sade. New single. ‘Soldier of Love’. *wet wees*. *white wees*.”

  1. This is genius. And Michael McIntyre really is a pile of shite.

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  2. I hear you sister. See also the tellybox adverts for Rhianna aka Little Mo’s new album which is apparaplegically “The most anticipated album of the year”. It’s lucky they told me because I must’ve missed that memo mmm-hmm.

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  3. Fuck. Me. Hard. This is incredible. I can just see me whacking this on the stereo when I next bring a male suitor home. I will Complete the seduction with the intricate tribal choreography that is currently going around my head, which I will utilise to ensare said male suitor. It will be very Beyonce in the sand a la Deja Vu, but naturally, far sexier.

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  4. Tequilla honey, I appreciate this whole seduction thing you got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.

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