‘Sorry chaps, but shoes are sexier than men!’ says mental defective Hannah Sandling in today’s Daily Cunt. OK, bitch, fuck yourself with the heel then!
But, seriously for a moment, we were wondering, now that the decade is drawing to a close and everything, if we could ask the women of this fair land – and any other fair land, come to think of it – to get over trying to be Carrie Bradshaw by yakking on about how they are shoe addicts.
‘Oh, I’m terrible, me, I’m just addicted to shoes. Jimmy Choos, Manolos, I love my shoes. I love my shoes more than sex. I love my shoes more than my children. I spend more on my shoes than rent.’
Yeah, love, heard it all before. On the telly. As spoken by an actress. It does not make you cute, it certainly does not make you fashionable (we’ve seen those shoes!), it just makes you worthy of a sharp kick up the front.
Now get a life, do something with your life, maybe help an old lady across the road, pick up some litter. Just shut the fuck up about the freaking footwear.