Disney princess Gay Joe off-of X Factor DOESN’T make the Christmas number one. Is that angels we can hear singing?


It used to be such a fun festive part of the whole Christmas shebang: who would make the prestigious Christmas number one spot? Then along came Mr. Potter (from It’s a Wondeful Life) Simon Cowell and his karaoke heroes, some covers of uplifting ‘living the dream’-type songs and for the last four years at least, Santa’s top spot has automatically gone to the winner of X Factory/Pop Idol/Opportunity Knocks/New Faeces.

Well, not this year! *bells ring, angels sing, strangers stop each other in the street and shake hands, the whole world turns into the final scene of Wonderful Life* An internet campaign designed to put an end to the monopoly of the bland has put Rage Against The Machine at the top for Christmas, knocking Gay Joe into second place. And so say all of us.

In a related/unrelated/sort of related story, we went to see Boy George doing like the best concert of his entire career at London’s glittering Leicester Square Theatre last night (it was the first night and there are – bizarrely – still tickets to be had for the rest of the week) and wondered what happened to the briliant gay pop star.

Back in the day *unwraps Werther’s Original* we had George and Holly, Marc Almond, Jimmy Somerville and Morrissey. We even had George Michael and his lady’s hair. There was a funny, eloquent, talented gay pop star for every mood. Now what do we have? Will Young and wet-lipped gay, Joe off-of X Factory.

God help us, each and every one, said Tiny Tim as he hobbled off to Stark Bollock Naked down The Hoist. In the snow.

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3 comments to “Disney princess Gay Joe off-of X Factor DOESN’T make the Christmas number one. Is that angels we can hear singing?”

  1. This makes me very happy indeed.
    And yes, I completely agree with your point about the lame wetness of gays in music these days. Where’s the raw talent, the eccentricity, the ‘fuck you’ attitude, the schutzpah, the, well, anything really?
    I also think Joe is at best stupid (badly advised) for not coming out. When he does, for obviously he will, not only will he look like a dick, but what sort of message is this giving? That being gay is wrong? Hmmmmm?

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  2. Also, let’s not forget, Joe’s song is fucking shite.

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  3. Hooded waistcoat? Honey, no.x

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