Oof, someone’s had a boring Christmas: the parents of this primordial dwarf’s boyfriend

Shall we watch Only Fools and Horses again?

So, you think your Christmas was boring – apart from watching the Pope being pushed over on a loop, of course. Spare a thought for Senor and Senora Valencoso. They had tried, in the nicest possible way, to suggest that their son Andres might have more fun this Christmas in New York or London or somewhere the fuck else. But no. His thinking was that if he had to put up with this pint-size limpet over the festive season, then he was going to spread the love around a little and take it home.

So, imagine… she doesn’t have a thing to say at the best of times (apart from probably, ‘Oh, if we were in Australia now, we’d be at the beach’) but transport her to a foreign culture (obviously, she won’t understand the term culture: she thinks it’s something that comes inside a yoghourt) and people whose language she doesn’t speak (she’s probably going around saying that she’s learnt a bit of Spanish, but we talked to her when she’d ‘learnt a bit of French’ back when she was going out with one of her previous victims: it wasn’t the sort of French you could use outside a boulangerie, let’s put it that way).

Anyways and hoos, hope that makes you feel better about the dreary time you had of it. Now, back to that Pope footage. Over the jump…

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2 comments to “Oof, someone’s had a boring Christmas: the parents of this primordial dwarf’s boyfriend”

  1. That attack on the Pope made my Christmas!!!

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  2. Louis Vuitton luggage. Oh dear.

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