So, that cunt who wants Jesus for a sunbeam, the gays in a black bin liner (well, noir is flattering) and a swift kick up the cunt, was only boppin’ a 19-year-old.
That would be a 19-year-old who a) wasn’t her husband (if you’d forgotten) and b) who was 41 years younger than the HC (Hypocritical Cunt. We’re not taking any chances, here) her very self.
Oh and c), she only allegedly (though we can safely assume the ‘allegedly’ is for appearances only) went and gave her toyboy (don’t you just hate that term, ‘toyboy’? Does that mean we can bring back ‘bimbo’? Or just stick with the gender-neutral ‘prostitute’?) gave her bit o’ cock on the side £50,000 in a very dodge/I’ll ask my friend on the council kind of way, so that lover-boy could set up a nice café.
And d) she made bloody sure she got something out of it. Apart from cock. A £5,000 kickback cheque paid to her very self when the deal was made, that’s what.
Fancy an e)? Okay, so, when the relationship with the now 21-year-old Kirk McCambley turned sour (probably when he turned the lights on), Iris Robinson demanded all the money back. Or else. What, she’ll get God on him?
f) Iris Robinson met ickle Kirky when he was only, wait for it, nine.
Jesus is probably doing cartwheels.
g) Iris Robinson is a monumental cunt.
Oh and h) (we’re on a roll). All this dodgy money to-ing and fro-ing was facilitated by, guess what, her church. Of which her sister is pastor.
In God’s own house, people? Now that just takes the crunch biscuit.
Funny, though, how an MP (yes, that’s a Member of Parliament) can go around saying those nice gays are worse than paedophiles and that we’ll all burn in hell (take your Pop Specs, kids!) – and if we’re being cynical here, offend a good 10% of the population (and then some. You know what we’re saying *pats hair, Mae West style-ee, etc*) – yet her job’s still safe. Be a cunt of a whole other name and piff-paff-poof, she’s (probably) out of a job.
Heck, whatever it takes. We’ll just throw a few words like Karma and Schadenfreude around at this juncture.