HCU (Hypocritical Cunt Update)

Dirty bitch.

So, that cunt who wants Jesus for a sunbeam, the gays in a black bin liner (well, noir is flattering) and a swift kick up the cunt, was only boppin’ a 19-year-old.

Boy.

That would be a 19-year-old who a) wasn’t her husband (if you’d forgotten) and b) who was 41 years younger than the HC (Hypocritical Cunt. We’re not taking any chances, here) her very self.

Oh and c), she only allegedly (though we can safely assume the ‘allegedly’ is for appearances only) went and gave her toyboy (don’t you just hate that term, ‘toyboy’? Does that mean we can bring back ‘bimbo’? Or just stick with the gender-neutral ‘prostitute’?) gave her bit o’ cock on the side £50,000 in a very dodge/I’ll ask my friend on the council kind of way, so that lover-boy could set up a nice café. 

And d) she made bloody sure she got something out of it. Apart from cock. A £5,000 kickback cheque paid to her very self when the deal was made, that’s what.

Fancy an e)? Okay, so, when the relationship with the now 21-year-old Kirk McCambley turned sour (probably when he turned the lights on), Iris Robinson demanded all the money back. Or else. What, she’ll get God on him?

f) Iris Robinson met ickle Kirky when he was only, wait for it, nine.

Jesus is probably doing cartwheels.

g) Iris Robinson is a monumental cunt.

Oh and h) (we’re on a roll). All this dodgy money to-ing and fro-ing was facilitated by, guess what, her church. Of which her sister is pastor.

In God’s own house, people? Now that just takes the crunch biscuit. 

Funny, though, how an MP (yes, that’s a Member of Parliament) can go around saying those nice gays are worse than paedophiles and that we’ll all burn in hell (take your Pop Specs, kids!) – and if we’re being cynical here, offend a good 10% of the population (and then some. You know what we’re saying *pats hair, Mae West style-ee, etc*) – yet her job’s still safe. Be a cunt of a whole other name and piff-paff-poof, she’s (probably) out of a job.

Heck, whatever it takes. We’ll just throw a few words like Karma and Schadenfreude around at this juncture.

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12 comments to “HCU (Hypocritical Cunt Update)”

  1. You know how everyone dreads January cos it’s so boring coming right after the party season n’everyfink? Well this story is BETTER than Christmas. By a long, long shot. Roll on the revelation that she owns a factory in the 3rd world where 4 year-old blind orphans have their teeth forcibly removed to make jewellery. I wouldn’t put it past her.

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  2. Schadenfreude make me feel GOOOOOOOOOD.

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  3. I’m loving this! No wonder she tried to commit suicide…do you think God has still forgiven her? By-the-bypass, isn’t it funny how hypocritical cunts always manage to award themselves God’s forgiveness right before more, and better, shit hits the fan?

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  4. She’s a charmer. Nice that Northern Ireland have their own La Gary Glitter.

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  5. Attitude are trying to get Kirk McCambley to do a (naked, probably) shoot for them. Funnies.

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  6. Isn’t suicide a sin, too? Now what’s that bit in the bible about who is eligible to cast the first stone?

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  7. I wondered why she was so fixated on homosexuals being worse than paedophiles: she was practically a paedo herself!

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  8. she’s the least convincing tranny I’ve ever seen.

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  9. She met her toy-boy when he was *9* !?! Wow … this just gets better & better. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such schadenfreude. This has put a genuine sparkle in my day! :-) “Jesus is probably doing cartwheels.” Oh, how I larf & larf … ode to joy!

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  10. 19 goes into 60 more times than 60 goes into 19. But really it must have been a struggle for the young lad to get it up unless her face was in the pillow. Poor fellow.

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  11. Iris diddling young men 40 years younger, embezelling cash and being a dirty adulterous cunt was the best late christmas pressie I’ve ever had.

    I say we stone the evil old slag-trollop

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  12. The guy was in thebyear above me in school, he tried to shag his girlfriends mother too…

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