Today’s news, in bullet points.

Are they in prison?

Okay, not bullet points. Can’t work out how to do bullet points. Dashes.

Today’s news in dashes.

– Dannii Minogue is pregnant. With child.

– Kris Smith? Dannii’s boyren’ ‘n’ baby-father? We’d bum him all round the world and I, I, I. And back again if he’s lucky. I, I.

– Ivana Trump’s entered the Celebrity Big Brother house. Apparently she has really big ear lobes but seeing as we’re not watching it, we’ll have to take his/her/their/its word for that. It also means you have to look at this. Have to. Really have to.

– We’re listening to Syreeta on Spotify. Lovely it is, too.

– Back to Kris Smith off-of Dannii Minogue. *points at ‘continues’*

Shit clothes. But who gives a shit. Pint of lager tops, please. How very Mens Health. Shit pants. But who gives a shit, etc.
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4 comments to “Today’s news, in bullet points.”

  1. I have noted, over the years (months), that Kris Smith off-of Dannii Minogue is a very bad dresser.

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  2. Dannii is my favourite of the double-i brigade, and Kris is welcome round mine for party poppers any evening after 8.

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  3. he is indeed a bad dresser, Chomper. And yet I forgive him. I know not why.

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  4. The best solution to his fashion issues would be for him to come round to my place and remove all his clothes. He should know that he can do that right away, it won’t be a problem.

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